The Types and Effects of Childhood Verbal Abuse

Verbal abuse is classified as emotional abuse. It's a way that abusers control their victims just as much as if they were physically abusing the child.

But because it's not so obvious to outsiders as physical abuse it, verbal abuse can be difficult to detect. This type of abuse can have short and long-term effects that last a lifetime.

Verbal abuse occurs in different ways and can come from many avenues including family, teachers, friends and people from social networking sites, online and offline bullies. This type of abuse, if prolonged, can cause severe emotional problems that are long lasting. If they don't get help, children will internalize this abuse and even start believing the awful things being said to them. This will most likely lead to problems with low self-esteem later in life.

This may be learned behavior on the part of the abuser. They were verbally put down all the time and now they do it. Some common ways they do this are through telling the child that they'll never be good enough, smart enough, pretty enough, etc. However, their own background is never an excuse for their behavior.

In our age of online social networking, cyber bullying is another form of verbal abuse. Of course, offline world bullying is alive and well and can come from peers and unfortunately even teachers. The abuse could escalate to physical threats, especially threats of violence if the child tells anyone about the bullying. There is more awareness about this problem, but for the longest time, many kids were told they were just too sensitive and should just get over it.

Researchers and counselors have found that the effects of verbal abuse can be almost as devastating if not just as much so to the psyche as physical and sexual abuse are. A study was done in 2006 and published in the American Journal of Psychiatry.⁽¹⁾

It was found that adults who suffered from verbal abuse from their parents as children has moderate to severe problems with anger, dissociation and depression. Some cases demonstrated effects worse than those of physical and sexual abuse survivors.

Since only a small group was sampled in this study, chance may have played a part in the results. But the effects of verbal abuse are well known to survivors and therapists and can take just as much time to heal from as other forms of abuse.

Other effects of emotional and verbal abuse that you need to watch out for include⁽²⁾:

• Relationship problems such as inability to trust.
• Substance abuse.
• Low self-esteem.
• Suicide.
• Extremely introverted.
• Violence and abusing others.

So, when is something really verbal abuse and how do you report it? You might feel uncomfortable making that judgment call for many reasons. Remember, that it isn't your job to know for sure what is going on. You may not think you'll be taken seriously if you call protective services or law enforcement. But verbal abuse can mean that other forms of abuse are going on. Reporting what you know may just save a child from physical or sexual violence and exposure to drugs and criminals.

If you don't think the issue is serious enough to report to authorities and you're a friend or family member, then please at least speak to the parents or other caregivers about their behavior. This may make them realize how they're hurting the child and that they need to stop now before they cause serious emotional damage.

References:

1. Sticks, Stones, and Hurtful Words: Relative Effects of Various Forms of Childhood Maltreatment. The American Journal of Psychiatry, American Psychiatric Association, 2006.
2. Emotional Abuse. American Humane, August 2010.